And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
