I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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