I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
