toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
