am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
