ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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