So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize