I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Randomize
