I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
