Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
