Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
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