Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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