quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
