Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
