it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I love having hate sex.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
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