The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
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