We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
