he wants to bone in the snuggie
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
