Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize