what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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