am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
