Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
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