There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
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