That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
