I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
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