think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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