I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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