...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
