I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
