we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
