trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
