Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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