Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
