just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
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