so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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