Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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