I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
