the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Randomize
