THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
