Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
