i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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