how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
