and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
you win again, gameday.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
