I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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