who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Even the bartender felt bad for me
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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