dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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