My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
