you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
