I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
