So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
