Kiss
Puke
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Randomize
