call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
