I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
