I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
