grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
