Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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