if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
