do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
