who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
