oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
