My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize