did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
