He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Me. At least after what I've been through.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
