I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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