Can i not drive my cunt home
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
