I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Randomize
