How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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