Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
MIDGETS
????
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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