I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
