Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
you had me at cake vodka
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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