As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
