You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Randomize
