Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize