So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
