ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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