Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize