Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Randomize
