You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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