dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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